"If God doesn't give you a baby, will you still love Him"

Since I got off the phone with the RE yesterday, I have felt extremely hopeless. This is an emotion I haven't had too many run ins with since giving my life over to the Lord for the last 3 years.


Initial appointment - $290.00
All Male Testing - $984.00
All female testing - $2,450.00
Treatment can range anywhere from $1,600.00-$14,000.00


I can't even fathom spending that kind of money... $3724 to FIND OUT what's wrong?!


I spent the entire afternoon crying. Then took a few hour break and as soon as it was time for bed, I spent the whole night crying. Jack and I talked for hours and I just cried and cried. I feel like I have spent more of my life being absolutely miserable than being happy. More of my life crying than laughing.

I don't know what God has willed or what He has planned. I just don't want to feel this pain any more. I don't want to hate myself and my body every single day for the rest of my life.

It's so hard to imagine our life as a family of two.